


the hardest part of this is leaving you

by teadominusrex



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depressed Tsukishima Kei, Ghost Yamaguchi Tadashi, Ghosts, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28576335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teadominusrex/pseuds/teadominusrex
Summary: Ever since his best friend died, he's been following Tsukishima everywhere
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 51





	the hardest part of this is leaving you

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in the 1st years 2nd year  
> No beta we die like men

“Good morning, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi chirped. 

Tsukishima ignored him, as usual, and went through his morning routine. 

“I’m off!” he called as he left, and put his headphones over his ears.

“Tsukkiiiii” Yamaguchi popped up right in front of him, “you didn’t eat breakfast again! Don’t think I haven’t noticed you skipping meals!”

Tsukishima walked through him.

“I know you can hear me!” called Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi stayed quiet during class, for the most part, much to Tsukishima’s relief. Instead, he stayed in the back of the class, and seemed to be paying attention to the teacher. 

The final bell rang at last and Tsukishima quickly gathered his things, hoping to leave before-

“TSUKISHIMA!!!” 

Tsukishima cringed at the sound of Hinata’s yelling.

“Tsukishima!” he yelled again and grabbed his arm, “you’re coming to practice today, come on!”

“Get off me, shrimp, I quit the team remember?” Tsukishima spat. 

“You should go,” Yamaguchi said, sounding sad, “I know how much you love volleyball.”

_ It’s not the same without you, _ he thought bitterly.

Suddenly, Kagayama was on his other side, and before he knew what was happening, Tsukishima was in the gym.

“Tsukishima, are you going to join us today?” asked Ennoshita with a pitying smile.

“No, these two dumbasses dragged me here, I’m going home,” he growled.

“Come on dude,” Tanaka said, “you can’t just quit!” 

“Yeah!” Nishinoya jumped in, “you have to keep playing! For Yamaguchi”

Tsukishima clenched his jaw and Ennoshita gave Nishinoya a glare.

“You don’t have to come back until you’re ready,” he said “but at least think about it, okay?”

Tsukishima just shrugged and slipped on his headphones, ignoring the shouts of the team as he walked away.

Yamaguchi was quiet as he walked home. 

“I’m home,” he called as he took off his shoes. 

No one answered, his mother was still at work for another few hours. Tsukishima sighed and walked into his room and flopped down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. 

“Tsukki, you should eat something,” Yamaguchi said. 

“Not hungry” Tsukishima muttered. 

“You haven’t eaten all day,” Yamaguchi pressed, “you need to eat, please.”

Tsukishima said nothing. 

“You can’t just throw your life away, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi leaned over him, a look of determination on his face, “I won’t let you.”

Tsukishima turned on his side to face the wall.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

When Yamaguchi died, all the color left Tsukishima’s life. 

He was hit by a drunk driver walking home late from practicing his serve and Tsukishima hadn’t been with him. If he had, maybe Yamaguchi would still be alive. 

Then, a week later, Yamaguchi appeared in Tsukishima’s room, sitting on his bed like nothing had changed.

Tsukishima, of course, freaked out. 

“Tadashi?” he whispered, “you- I- okay, that's it, I’ve gone insane. I’ve gone totally insane.”

“You’re not insane, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, “I’m here, I’m real”

“That’s what a figment of my imagination would say,” Tsukishima said squeezing his eyes shut, “you are not real, Tadashi is dead, he’s dead and he’s never coming back!” 

When Tsukishima opened his eyes, Yamaguchi was still here, smiling sadly at him.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki”

“Why are you still here?” Tsukishima asks, voice so soft he can barely be heard. “I know it was my fault, but do you have to haunt me?”

“Your fault?” Yamaguchi frowns although Tsukishima can’t see, as he’s curled up into a ball and facing the wall. “Tsukki, it wasn’t your fault”

“But if I’d been there… then maybe…” 

Yamaguchi hushed him softly and laid a hand on Tsukishima’s back, causing him to flinch. “I’m here to protect you”

“I don’t need your protection!” Tsukishima sat up suddenly, “don’t you get it by now? I don’t want you here! Go away and leave me alone!” 

Yamaguchi jumped back, startled and hurt. “I’m sorry…”

“Kei?” Akiteru opened the door, “are you okay? I heard yelling”

Tsukishima sniffed and scrubbed his eyes with his blanket. “‘M fine…” 

Akireru frowned and sat down on Tsukishima’s bed, pulling him into a hug. 

“Akireru…” mumbled Tsukishima, waiting to push his brother away and wanting to be hugged at the same time. 

“I know,” Akiteru murmured, “I know Kei.”

It was like the invisible string holding him up snapped as Tsukishima began to cry. 

“I loved him, Akiteru, I loved him so much!”

“I know you did,” Akiteru hugged his brother tighter.

“No, you don’t understand,” Tsukishima cried, “I loved him! I loved him and I never told him how I really felt because I was so scared of losing him and now he’s gone!” 

“You… loved me?” Yamaguchi whispered. 

“I know you did,” Akiteru said again, “I know how much you loved him, I’m so sorry, Kei.”

Tsukishima pulled away, tears still running down his cheeks. “I don’t know what to do without him. I’m so lost.”

“Tadashi would have wanted you to move on, Kei,” Akiteru said, “and I think he’d be really upset if he knew you weren’t taking care of yourself. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you skipping meals again”

Tsukishima shuttered at the words, but nodded weakly. “I know…”

“How about I ask mom to make your favorite tonight?” 

Tsukishima nodded again.

Akiteru smiled and ruffled his hair. “I’ll go tell her now, okay?”

“Kei?” Yamaguchi said when Akiteru was gone, “Kei I…”

“Don’t,” whispered Tsukishima, “please don’t”

“I loved you, too”

Tsukishima felt a gentle kiss on his forehead and then Yamaguchi was gone.

Yamaguchi hadn’t appeared to Tsukishima in a week. Part of him was relieved and part of him was hard heart broken all over again. It had been torture seeing Yamaguchi but knowing he wasn’t really there, but at the same time, it had almost felt like his friend wasn’t truly gone.

Now, Kei was alone. 

He stood outside the gym, listening to the squeaking of shoes and the smack of volleyballs hitting the floor. 

Yamaguchi was supposed to be on the court with him his year, they were supposed to be together like always. 

But now, Kei was alone. 

It might have been his imagination, but Tsukishima felt a hand between his shoulder blades, pushing him forward into the gym. The team stopped what they were doing and looked over at him.

Hinata wasted no time in dragging him on the court, insisting he block spikes for him. 

You’re not alone, Kei

For the first time in a long time, Tsukishima wasn’t so lonely. 


End file.
